Online Dating

Most, if not all, of humanity desires to find a match. It’s part of nature as humans. We long to find that particular person that fulfills our every wish and desire. It is essential for us to feel as though we belong. In the days of traditional dating you were to meet your soul mate by chance; two souls meant to happen upon one another. It’s the stereotypical situation that most people felt was once the way to meet their partner: boy meets girl, they fall in love, get married, raise a family and so on. Our current generation is transforming the way we perceive dating itself. Internet dating is quickly becoming the most ideal way for people in today’s world to find their significant others. This new form of obtaining love and companionship is captivating our society. Our traditional ways of dating are replacing our traditions, which challenges our cultural assumption that traditions are long-standing and static practices. We are evolving from our past simply because we desire finding love when it fits our lifestyles, it takes less effort, and it may effective than other methods.

According to a famous psychologist, Abraham Maslow, each human being is innately designed with the need to fulfill their basic needs. We must fulfill our psychological needs and then self-fulfillment needs in order to be a complete person. He created a pyramid that from the base up, described that after a person’s physiological needs are met (food, water, rest, warmth, and safety), they the need to fulfill their psychological needs (Belongingness and love needs, and esteem needs). The highest level that needs to be fulfilled is the self-fulfillment needs (which achieving one’s full potential) (Hockenbury 325). Belongingness and love needs are essential to becoming a self-actualized person that is content with their life. Finding someone to a mate for life, a person that is loving and accepting, is what people are biologically made to do.

America is notoriously recognized for being a nation that never quits; its inhabitants are constantly working and being productive. Most Americans desire the “American Dream” that consists of the nice house and car with a wonderful family; a result of a successful career. Sadly enough, a majority of Americans work an excessive amount and loose valuable time. According to an article written by Jennifer Egan, “the societal reasons for this fury of activity are so profound that it’s almost surprising that online dating didn’t take off sooner: Americans are marrying later and so are less likely to meet their spouses in high school or college. They spend much of their lives at work…” (Egan 276). Internet dating fits our lifestyles in this era. We live moment to moment, time is of the essence; spare time is almost non-existent. Since humans desire to have love and companionship, Internet dating allows them to have both a busy lifestyle as well as a love life because “the profile never sleeps,” (Egan 277). Though it breaks from past generations traditional ways of falling in love, it works for this technologically advanced generation.

In the traditional ways you were to happen upon your soul mate. Typically, the man would have to impress the woman, which still applies today; however, the individuals can write and email each other in the beginning which relieves anxiety and stress. A person doesn’t have to worry if they will say something that is considered out of the ordinary or strange because they can proof read before sending; talking becomes easy, mannerisms and gestures can be concealed. For this reason “a fair number of people continue to feel a stigma about dating online,” (Egan 276). To some, traditions are meant to be long-standing and static practices, in that some things are not supposed to be altered; there are reasons for maintaining traditions. Some, may conclude, that because of online or Internet dating the honesty and sincerity of a person may be withheld; that you cannot see a person’s true personality aspects through a profile that has a picture and a summary that they developed about themselves. Some may also conclude that the romance and excitement of dating is taken away; there is no spontaneous meeting for it is arranged. Regardless if online dating is not unplanned and unexpected, it may be necessary.

Online dating may be a more effective way to meet other singles. Since most don’t meet their future companion in their schooling or the work place, they must find alternatives. It is said that: “…social institutions like churches and clubs have faded in importance. That often leaves little more than the “bar scene” as a source of potential mates,” (Egan 276). Online dating may be a far more reliable and safer choice. It is imperative an online dating service is chosen that is trustworthy and assists in finding wholesome well-mannered people; that it makes it difficult for those who are not serious and of questionable nature and filters them out of their system. In the essay written by Jennifer Egan, a man admits to lying on his profile by listing qualities that most women look for in a male. “… And while my ad may not be the ‘real me,’ at least there’s potential for me to be the best version of myself,” (Egan 279). Dating online may be a way to meet potential people, but it is also possible to misinterpret a person.

It is possible that traditions are not set in stone. Dating, for example, clearly shows that there is room for change. Traditions, though created and formed with the notion that things would remain constant, can change. Online dating had opened the doors for people that live rather chaotic lives to make time to find someone that can fulfill their needs and desires to have a mate. Everyone needs a person to care for their love and belonging needs; it shouldn’t be a concern as to where they met them. What is most important in finding a soul mate is simply that the people were able to find one another.




Bibliography



Egan, Jennifer.
Love in the Time of No Time. Leasa Burton. Boston: Bedford/ ST.
Martin’s, 2006. Pgs. 276-79



Hockenbury, Don, Sandra Hockenbury.
“Discovering Psychology.” New York: Worth, 2007. Pg. 325